You have one job.

When my daughter was born, I had this sick kind of contentment. Like, I could do it all again and not be just “some gash”; the first insult my vagina received in a long list of “not good enoughs” that would seem to equal the sum of my femininity. Then, there was the enviable fact that she could live without breasts for so long; able to traverse the world in blue, purple or green. The best kind of girl…the kind without female defining characteristics. How easy it would be to wear the chest of a man and feel nothing other than the wonder of being human before sacks of fat sit on your chest and define you.

It would be easier if she was flat chested. How I prayed and I don’t even fucking pray.

I prayed for flat chests and interest in Science and maybe that she would never leave home because she might end up as “some gash” to some fucking guy who never did anything except be born with a royal cock.

And who was she to have an organ that only accepts.

And then, I bore a son who was small and hated sports, but he was a white man. Thank the brown Jesus. He had all of the cards in the deck and our vehement cry of, “DON’T EVER HIT A GIRL!” is the only thing he really has to worry about. Born white with the royal cock and able to do anything he pleases except beat women…except in private. Because, let’s face it, he could if he wanted to. I don’t want him to.

And then, I had two more daughters and I cut off all of my hair. Like a “dike”. And I was too fat to have such short hair. And women tell me I’m “brave”…simply because I cut my hair.

I don’t want to be polite anymore. And I don’t give a shit about my hair.

One day, the world is going to explode with the kind of hatred we reserve only for ourselves. Bottled up and then secreted slowly, like coffee over organic filter. Still tearing apart the components of the holster, bit by bit and leaving delicious mud.

Giving us enough sustenance to hate ourselves tomorrow.

Because who are we to have big hearts that only accept.

And it makes sense that a woman would feel nothing hard enough and for long enough to finally let herself go…

As if that is a destination.





Comments

  1. From another woman who has fat deposits on her chest and has cut her hair off enough times to have learned better (still thinking about it though )
    From another mom of a daughter, and you know what? You are so right, the royal cocks can totally go screw themselves, i fear for the day my girl gets her stupid fat deposits and hormones of hell and you know, that’s probably the day i will not have to cut my hair off again, it will fall out…or be ripped out by my own hands. Hands begging her stay away from the stupid royal cock. I have been labeled as much if not more, and I’ve taken to calling myself B’s mom, instead of my own given name…i also like to remind myself of the anonymity of no longer having anyone know my given name…works out well for the little brats i can’t stand who aren’t my kid…

  2. Every time I read you, I walk away feeling. You may only have an organ that accepts, but you’ve got a talent that gives more than any white man ever could.

  3. I have two white men with royal cocks… everytime I heard “it’s a boy”, my heart just settled down. Why? Well, besides being able to change this new generation of men’s idea of what a woman is… I live in constant dread of ruining another woman! Thank you ladies for bringing our bright new women! I am in Awe of you! If you need me, I’ll be raising two-equal rights-gentlemen over here.

  4. I have not by choice raised my four sons alone…i panicked and
    dreaded what id fail to teach them without there father and now
    realise they are so intune with women that it astounds me
    Im so proud of my boys that i know they understand how
    they respect,talk,give affection and look to me more for
    guidance.i couldnt be prouder,i couldnt be happier…they
    know without mutal love,understanding,respect,responsibilty
    That you may hurt,you will hurt others you will not be happy
    somehow learning from there mum only taught them empathy
    resepect and love.im proud of my sons

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