At least 100 times a day.

I have this really nasty habit of overemphasizing my downfalls. Because I feel unworthy of success or maybe more like, I don’t know what to do with the actual feelings of not failing. Because failure, success and the art of not failing are three separate things and we have the right to acknowledge them as separate entities.

Failure is if my kids are in bed wondering if I love them.

Not succeeding is when I run out of granola bars and give my children 14 different dairy products for school snack.

“Have this Light Yoplait, a cheese stick and some….cheese. Have a great day!”

Success is reading three books, preparing a well balanced meal AND heading into bedtime without threatening to donate their entire dress up bin to the Salvation Army if they don’t get their stuff off the floor.

Seriously…pick up your shit, kids.

While we are so hell bent on our own failure, real failure so rarely occurs.

You’re not failing if you’re 15 minutes late to school.

You’re not failing if you had cereal for dinner

Or if you laughed when a beach ball knocked your toddler over

Or if you felt like you needed to run away

Or wondered if you’re even cut out for parenting.

It’s not success, but, it sure as shit isn’t failure.

It’s human and it’s ok.

At least 100 times a day, I wonder what I’m doing wrong and completely disregard everything I’ve done right.

It’s such a bullshit way to live

To parent

To love

To exist

Because my imperfection is success. I’ve successfully been a human-fucking-being. Fallible and aware. And trying.

Maybe even kinda-sorta succeeding.

Or maybe not.

Pass the Cheetos, kids. We’re out of protein again.

And I don’t even care that my kids clothes NEVER match.

Even though you might care.

We can care about different things.

Like I think organic bananas are full of shit. HAVE YOU SEEN HOW THICK THE PEEL IS?

But, I also was raised by MTV…so what do I know?

Maybe a lot.

Maybe I know a lot.

And maybe you do too.

I bet you do.

But there’s no medal for Motherhood and the only way you know you got it somewhat right is if your kids show up for Thanksgiving.

Or quote you while laughing and sharing a bottle of wine.

Or climb up the stairs to tell you they love you even after you’ve yelled as loud as fucking possible that their teeth are going to turn green and fall out if they don’t brush them.

Especially after all that dairy.

Success?

“Mama, I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you guys the most.”

Yes. Success.





Comments

  1. Every time, you hit me right in the feels. And it hurts so good. C’mon baby now. C’mon baby make it hurt so good.

    DAMMIT MTV, GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

    Seriously though, as always, this is so, so incredibly perfect. Success.

  2. I honestly feel like we’d be really good friends to each other.

  3. Absolutely beautiful and 100 times true!

  4. Haha, I love hollow tree- you hit me right in the feels. So very true! We’re all human and flawed and doing the best we can- a-freaking-men! 😀 Thank you for this! I might just put this up on my inspiration wall that’ll never get built…

  5. Why are we so hell-bent on being successful parents? Who even really knows what that looks like? I think the kids who have the parents who were successes at parenting are the one who end up in therapy as adults because they didn’t laugh enough. Or yell enough for that matter. They both matter.

  6. Have you ever caught yourself thinking: you want to eat AGAIN?

  7. “Pass the Cheetos, kids. We’re out of protein again.”

    Good to know I’m not the only one. xo

  8. Bethany,
    I want you to know, you were one of my most memorable moments from my Blog U ’14 experience. I have a incredible amount of respect for you. And your writing kinda blows my mind. No exception here.
    Love to you,
    Shalagh

  9. I pick up this phrase: “It’s human and it’s ok”. You’re doing it right since you’re doing your best and your prize is that “I love you” words from your children. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  10. Kristin says:

    Do you know what I love about your writing? You are so real. Not always (okay, never) chipper and perky and “I-got-it-all-done-and-it’s-all-right”. Because as much as I don’t want to admit it, I am always one step (and usually not a very big one) ahead of a total cryfest meltdown. And I only have one kid. You are amazing, and I love seeing you make it work, angry voice and all. I can tell you are a good parent from the first sentence, if that makes you feel any better. And reading your blogs makes me feel better. Because it isn’t easy, is it? And if it was, would we really know we were trying?

  11. So true! We do our best and we are sometimes our own worst enemies but the little hugs at night and the “I love you, Mum” makes it all worth while. The Cheetos probably would give us extra brownie points!!

  12. You expressed my feelings in words. Only the one who is experiencing can write like this. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

  13. Hey! 🙂 I really enjoy reading your blog! Please check out mine as well, I am a 26 year old single mother looking forward to connecting with likeminded people! All the best, Lisa <3
    https://lisamie.wordpress.com

  14. I felt like like reading one of your diary logs Bethany. This is just so real for many of us, and I wonder if I did my part when I was a kid to my mom. I hope I said I love you’s more to my mother, or maybe I did I just can’t remember. We can’t really know what’s it’s like to be them until we are finally on their shoes… Gosh I love my mom, getting emotional here….

  15. “Failure is if my kids are in bed wondering if I love them” …

    Haha.. and it’s just a 100% true. Words from an experienced individual. Good one Bethany!

Trackbacks

  1. […] At least 100 times a day..BAD Parenting Moments […]

Speak Your Mind

*