Biggest, Baddest, Bestest Giveaway EVER. Be a winner. Everybody loves a winner.

Do you love reading? Enjoy free stuff? Did you miss the boat on summer’s GIGANTIC, multi-blog reading giveaway and you want another chance to win?!?! Well, we’ve delivered, except for one tiny difference – this time, it’s EVEN BIGGER!

Even more of your favorite bloggers have joined together to bring you the hugest giveaway on the innerwebz – you are not going to believe this prize package.

Seriously.

Now that the kids are back in school, maybe you find yourself with a little extra free time for reading grown-up people books with grown-up people words in them. Maybe, as the autumn air gets chillier, you’re looking for an excuse to snuggle up inside under a blanket. Whatever the reason, one thing’s for sure: you need some great stuff to read. Thus, we bring you…

THE BIGGEST FALL READING GIVEAWAY EVER!

First off, we’ve collected practically an entirely new library for you – nine (9) (NINE!!!) new books to make you laugh, cry, and forget that you were supposed to turn on the crockpot because you’re just plain having too much fun.

You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth, the long-awaited first humor anthology from In The Powder Room, is the #1 Hot New Release on Amazon for good reason – it’s packed with 39 (mostly) true tales by women, for women, about being womenβ€”bodily changes, relationships, careers, motherhood, aging, illness, and moreβ€”written with the humor and grit that proudly sets In The Powder Room apart. The winner’s shiny new copy will be signed by none other than Lipstick co-author and editor, Leslie Marinelli of The Bearded Iris!

Do you have a copy of the hilarious best-selling collection of hilarious essays, I Just Want To Pee Alone, yet? Well, I bet you don’t have a copy signed by four of the co-authors – Amy Bozza of My Real Life signed one with Kim Bongiorno, Kim Forde and Anna Sandler, and she’s willing to part with it JUST FOR YOU! It covers every parenting topic from planning for your baby, to being driven insane by your children, to… wait, are there other parenting topics? Yes, don’t be silly, of course there are. I’m pretty sure.

From Abby Has Issues, you’ll get a signed paperback copy of Abby Still Has Issues, the 5-star rated second installment of award-winning humor writer Abby’s compiled blogging neurosis – everything from the drama of a cab ride with Aunt Mable to her quest to become a naked sushi model.

Carriage Before Marriage has two stories in the hilarious, irreverent anthology What Was I Thinking: 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories featuring essays from Carrie Fisher, Sex and The City producer Cindy Chupack and more. Romantic disasters spun into comedy gold for your entertainment!

Janie Emaus is offering up a autographed paperback copy of her smart and compelling young adult book, Mercury In Retro Love – a story about crushes, conflicts and astrological confusion.

Kim Bongiorno, of Let Me Start By Saying, has generously added an autographed paperback copy of her 5-star rated “Part of My World: Short Stories”, a book that allows the reader to escape into 21 unique, exhilarating worlds.  To boot, she’s including a “How Being a Parent is Like Being a Rock Star” note card, based on her hilarious graphic that’s gone viral (blank inside, with envelope).

You’ll also win an autographed copy of Not Your Mother’s Book…on Being a Parent, co-authored by Stacey Hatton of Nurse Mommy Laughs. These new anthologies are edgy “poultry for the chakra” books and will have you laughing instead of crying.

Of course your library won’t be complete without a signed paperback copy of the best selling debut of humorist Paige Kellerman, At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles – a touching story of cankles, gestational diabetes, and one woman’s quest not to pee her own pants while carrying twins.

Still want more parenting laughs? Parenting Gag Reel – Hilarious Writes and Wrongs (from the popular Life Well Blogged series) is for moms and dads who’ve fought to get little ones down for a nap, worn their pajamas to drop off the kids at school or can name at least ten shades of poop. If that’s you, you’re in the right place for an afternoon of laughter, thanks to some very funny bloggers, including Snarkfest.

But wait – that’s not all! Because we love you and we know that just WANTING to read doesn’t always get you the time, setting, and accessories that make it possible, we’re also including all of this:


Because it’s hard to concentrate on reading while the kids are awake, we’ll set you up with the customizable kid’s photo clock of your choice from ZAZOO KiDS! In addition to allowing you to upload your own photos, video and music, it has pre-programmed image alarms to show a child visually when they can start the day or when it is time to rest. Brilliant! For maximum reading time, we recommend setting bedtime to 4 PM.


Because they might still need a little help staying in bed, there’s Duck Tape. Everyone can find a fun and creative use for Duck Tape, from crafty tweens to practical DIYers, to mamas who just want to read for a minute, for Pete’s sake. We’re giving away an awesome prize pack of Duck Tape in assorted colors and patterns.


Because sometimes Mama needs a little glass of something while she reads, you’ll get a monogrammed Vino-2-Go (Wine Sippy! Right? RIGHT? Awesome.) for those special times when you need to be the classiest bitch at a party, or when you’re just afraid you might spill some precious vino on your precious book.


Because you need to be comfortable while you read, we’re bringing you your choice of one throw pillow from Sewn, Inc. Sewn is a small design atelier in Brooklyn, NY, specializing in dressmaking, custom Halloween costumes for children, home decor accents, and quilted Christmas stockings.


Because you might be out and about while you’re reading (hey, it could happen), the winner will also get a $30 gift certificate to the Jennifer Ladd shop on Etsy, which is chock full of gorgeous handbags and change purses.

Nostalgic Graphic Tees Elizabeth Horton

Because you’ll need something clean for your kids to wear if you hope to put off the laundry one more day, let us introduce you to Nostalgic Graphic Tees by Elizabeth Horton. Brushed for softness and screen printed using multiple layers of environmentally friendly ink, you’ll be happy when this becomes your child’s favorite shirt because it’ll stand up to life and washings and still look good enough to hand down to a little brother or sister. Winner gets to choose any tee from the Etsy site. That’s winner’s choice! You just have to pick from a size in stock.


Because you’ll need something cozy to “borrow” from your husband’s closet while you read (or because you’re the husband whose cozy stuff keeps getting “borrowed,” or because you just happen to like reading and comfort), Cool Dads is providing one of their tees. They work hard to make tees that their kids would dig, and that they would be proud to wear too. They feature a tailored fit, custom stitching, and high quality bamboo viscose material that makes their shirts softer than the softest cotton, keep you degrees cooler, and even repel sweat to keep you dry.


Because people are always trying to take the few things around the house that aren’t made by Fisher Price (like your new fantastic book collection) and claim them as their own, label them in style with Name Bubbles. These sturdy, water-resistant and dishwasher safe labels come in a variety of colors, sizes, and fonts so you can personalize them just the way you want. We’re giving away a School Labels Pack, an assortment of over 80 labels!


Because we know you’ll get interrupted while you’re trying to read, you’ll get a $40 gift card to Snappin Studio, where they make unique hand stamped metal keepsakes like beautiful copper bookmarks. What a stylish way to keep track of where you left off, until you’re finished getting the kids just one more glass of water at 10:30 PM! Shop for gorgeous hand stamped metal gifts such as personalized guitar picks, unique anniversary gifts, handmade wedding favors and more.


Also, because we know we’re all just barely holding it together ourselves, we’re including a canvas I Just Want To Pee Alone tote bag so YOU can hold all this stuff together – super rare and totes adorable, you’ll be able to carry all this incredible loot in style.


And finally, because we know we might have forgotten something (Who, US???), the lucky winner will also get a $175.00 Amazon gift card, to spend however he or she wants, although we strongly suggest using it to buy the giveaway hosts something pretty.

That’s almost $700 worth of fantastic prizes!

NOW FOR THE NITTY-GRITTY:
To qualify: You must have a deep, burning desire to own all or part of the stuff mentioned above, and live in the United States. (So sorry, non-United States friends – we love you big time, but we don’t understand your sweepstakes rules and don’t enjoy serving jail time. Also, POSTAGE. Gah. It’s, like, more than college tuition.)

Required: Do the little Rafflecopter thingy. Winner will be chosen at random and notified after the giveaway closes on Saturday, October 5. If there’s no response from the winner within 24 hours, another winner will be chosen and so on until I decide just to keep everything for myself. (I’m kidding, of course. OR AM I? Yes, I’m kidding.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway





Comments

  1. This is fucking awesome! I soooo need to win this!

  2. Jaimie Leader-Goodale says:

    Free stuff?!?!?! who doesn’t want free stuff? reading your blog is reward enough… but bonuses are always great right? πŸ™‚

  3. Allyson Wendt says:

    I’m so excited I just peed my pants. Or maybe that was the baby kicking my bladder. Whatever.

  4. SUPER GIVEAWAY! SIGN ME UP!

  5. Awesome prize lineup!!! πŸ˜€

  6. My youngest just started pre-k in September. I’m ready for a good book, or 9!!!

  7. Just stopping by to say “HI!” & thanks for keeping us laughing!! πŸ™‚

  8. Janee McKnight says:

    I love your page!

  9. The books alone are a fantastic prize, the other stuff WOW bonus! Count me in!

  10. Wow! So much cool stuff! I have a deep, burning desire to own all of the stuff above πŸ˜‰

  11. Susan Smith says:

    I adore your blog! I think we must be kindred spirits, or maybe we all just like wine too much! πŸ˜‰

  12. I want it! I want it! I want it!!! πŸ™‚ GOOOD Morning! Here is my entry into your FABULOUS contest! I need all the above to survive my tween and stubborn 5 yr old and hubby in the US NAVY! πŸ™‚ oh and a bottle of wine with that or Baileys would be appreciated too!

    Thanks! πŸ™‚ and have awesome day.. (Wow I’m sure chipper for someone who hasn’t had any caffeine…)

    – Nikki

  13. Just love your comments on FB. I’m not a mom but aspire to be one. In the mean time I will live vicariously through you and other fellow mommy bloggers. You keep me laughing in a sometimes humorless world!

  14. All of this stuff is great!! Thanks also for introducing me to some great pages.

  15. Oooo…this is an exciting give-away!!

  16. Best. Giveaway. EVER.

  17. Oh … Mah … Gahd … Or “Ermagerd!” Pick me, pick me, pick me PUHLEEZE!! I would read these books ever so carefully – and quickly – and then hand them off to my sisters, one of whom is just becoming a mommy in the next week or so. She’ll have an entire maternity leave to read & learn from you wise women. In between the sore boobs, diaper changes, naps, laundry, episodes of uncontrollable sobbing … we haven’t filled her in completely on life after baby yet πŸ˜‰

  18. Awesome

  19. Woohoo! Who doesn’t love giveaway?! Hope I’m a winner! πŸ™‚ Thanks for the opportunity.

  20. This is awesome!

  21. Lots of great things!

  22. I LOVE FREE SHIT!!! πŸ˜‰

  23. amanda berube says:

    yay i want to win!

  24. I am Way excited about this giveaway!!!

  25. Awesome giveaway! Good luck, everyone!

  26. I know people say this all the time but I’ve never won anything and if I won this I might just stroke out. I can’t even tell you how happy it will make me. My husband has a terminal disease so between him and my 2 little ones I’m exhausted and in desperate need of some laughs from an awesome book (in which my fav page is bookmarked) while lounging on my pillow drinking my wine, wearing my comfy shirt, counting the change in my purse scrolling through amazon while the alarm clock lets the hooligans, who are wearing fab clothes and can’t yell because their mouths have been ducktaped, know time out is over and they can get back to labeling

  27. Katie McPherson says:

    Exciting stuff!!

  28. Rebecca Copenhaver says:

    I love free stuff! And I’m peeing all by myself, as we speak! (Tmi-don’t hate!lol)

  29. Elizabeth Pollard says:

    Love your blog!

  30. Bad Parenting Moments makes me feel a lot better about expanding our family πŸ˜‰ Love this.

  31. This is such an awesome giveaway! I’m a nursing student with 2 young’uns, just trying my best to get ahead! Of course, both of my children are prodigies and soon will be sitting beside me in class… I think your facebook page and blog rock! It’s great to get a good laugh… many times, I think you must be spying on me! Thanks for all the honest hilariousness… !

  32. Such an amazing giveaway!

  33. Sweet!

  34. Thanks for the chance! πŸ™‚

  35. I HIGHLY covet every.single.one of those prizes. HIGHLY. As in, if you want my firstborn, you are MORE THAN welcome to him. Just, be prepared for lots of stomping, slamming doors, and loud ‘I hate this life!’s from him. Yeah, he’s a peach.

  36. Awesome! This is a great giveaway!

  37. Anne Giusti says:

    Love love you all. What a awesome giveaway.

  38. Love your FB posts

  39. I would LOVE to win! …if I do, Im willing to trade ALL of it to anyone who will watch my kids while I shower ALONE!!! Maybe.

  40. Just…Wow! Sign me up!

  41. omg! I love everything in this package. You rock!

  42. amanda cole says:

    I want to win this!!!!! So awesome!

  43. Free shit is definitely the only shit I can enjoy wholeheartedly.

  44. What an amazing giveaway!

  45. Maria Jensen says:

    This is so awesome, I seriously couldn’t be more excited!!

  46. Yay free stuff! Love your blog πŸ™‚

  47. Wow. My amazon wish list could use a little decrease…

  48. Woohoo! I could def use this πŸ™‚

  49. Love you blog and Facebook page!

  50. Hope I win!

  51. This is awesome!!!

  52. Love your blog! What a fantastic giveaway!!

  53. Sara Sutton says:

    I am entering strictly for the wine sippie. The rest is just icing on the drawing cake.

  54. This sounds amazing!!

  55. Wow! This is awesome!

  56. YAY I love free stuff. Especially books!

  57. This is fanfuckingtastic!

  58. “Get a hold of yourself, Saturday!!” (haaaa!)

    Full confession – I “lost” the soccer signup sheet b/c games are on Saturday mornings. Saturday mornings in the fall are for college football tailgating and nothing else!! Got that, Saturday!?!

  59. We’re the same kind of kookie mamas! Thank you for sharing your family moments with us!

  60. amaze-balls!

  61. yay!

  62. This is the perfect giveaway. something for everyone!

  63. This giveaway is amazing!!!! I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to win! And your blog is hilarious!

  64. Oh I so need to win this it would keep me from having to go to the library foe at least a week or two! Pick me!!!

  65. Tammy Dumitrescu says:

    Sounds fun-freaking-tabulous! I am a novice blogger myself. You and others have inspired me. I have started with a blog for my Sister In Law who is having a baby, so it’s a private blog, but as soon as I get up my nerve and grow a pair (wait, I have a vagina, that won’t happen), well as soon as I let my vagina take the wheel, I will start publishing my own! Thank you for all the inspiration, but most importantly, thanks for all the laughs, tears, and yeah you tell ’ems! I love knowing there’s someone out there with just as much crazy as me πŸ˜‰ By the way, did you know there’s a dinosaur that eats TVs? I thought it was a man from outer space per Blondie, but per my 4 year old, this one just went extinct 10 days ago. Just a little useless fact I thought you’d appreciate! xo Tammy

  66. Ooh boy! Giveaways are awesome, aren’t they?? And, uh, free books! Who doesn’t want free books??

  67. This is truly the biggest, baddest giveaway ever!! I’d be honored to curl up and read all of those books while my minions are at school!!!

  68. Um, clearly the person who designed this giveaway is a Super Mom! Cuz it’s so over the top!

  69. I think this collection of books would nicely round out my parenting book collection… lol.

  70. You weren’t being hyperbolic. This IS the biggest baddest bestest!

  71. Hannah Taliaferro says:

    I do want to pee by myself. Will this bag help? Maybe while he’s ripping apart the bag, I can sneak into the bathroom!

  72. Great prize!

  73. Ryan Richeal says:

    This is awesome! I hope I win!

  74. This is awesome! I totally hope I win because after having a tonsillectomy today, I could really use some cheering up!

    Also, I love reading all your stuff because you totally rock!

  75. I hope I win!!

  76. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

  77. I want. And did I mention the drawing closes on my Birthday? Best present ever. Fingers crossed BIGTIME. Thanks for putting a sweet giveaway together for us!

  78. Allison P says:

    I love the tag you put on this. Gratuitous use of the word shit is always a plus in my book.

  79. I need that sippy!

  80. This is amazing. You’re amazing. Must win!

  81. Christy Hotz says:

    I’ll be cage diving with Great Whites near San Francisco on the 5th. If I survive that, then I’ll definitely need to win!

  82. I love reading almost as much as I love getting free books πŸ™‚

  83. Jennifer Shelton says:

    I would register just for that beautiful pillow, but then you add my kryptonite: books!!! Also, October 5 is my anniversary. If I win, I hope my hubby doesn’t think he’s off the hook for that anniversary present!

  84. Melissa C. says:

    The best kind of shit is free shit!!! Love Love Love this prize pack πŸ™‚

  85. I just hyperventilated over the wine cup. Seriously.

  86. Crystal Gordon says:

    Excited much? Hell yeah!! That’s all I ever wanted to do was pee alone!! Both my girls are playing on that “NOT IN THIS HOUSE!” hype.

  87. Ali Wicks-Lim says:

    I have decided that all my bad contest luck up until this point has just been leading me toward winning THIS FABULOUS CONTEST. On a related not, I did enter it if I filled out that thing and it told me how many entered I’d earned, right? It makes me nervous that there’s no final button to push to confirm entry.

  88. Elizabeth W says:

    I just discovered you through mamapedia, and you’re already making my day better! Can’t wait to read more of your posts!

  89. Great blog and great giveaway! Hope you enjoy the coming “expansion” of your blog as you explore other things to write about. I have no doubt I’ll enjoy reading whatever it is!

  90. Very excited i found your blog! Looking forward to laughing a little everyday!

  91. I’d like to be a winner, winner , chicken dinner!

  92. What Wendy said!!

  93. Simply an awesome collection of mommy stuff. Awesome.

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